Forecast I
May 30th, 2022i have an induction for my new job tomorrow! i've been really anxious about it since friday, when i got the email with my official job offer in it. it's part-time, which is ideal for me - i can't work full-time, and casual jobs suck ass because you don't get guaranteed hours. my minimum hours are at just the right amount for me right now, i think. it'll push me, but if i'm kept within within that general range, i don't think i'll burn out.
i'm excited, because i have a lot of goals that i can now actually plan and save for. i have motivation and patience, unlike my last real job in 2018-19. also, this job isn't a bullshit fancy job that wants me to be perfectly presentable while running tables across the complex a kilmoeter each way. it's just a basic company. nothing special.
but i'm also nervous, because i've never worked part-time before and i've never done this kind of work before, and i have no idea what to expect and where my boundaries should lie. i've been burned more than enough times in the events/fast food industry to be able to spot traps when they're placed, but i'm blind here. hopefully there won't be any traps for me to look out for.
i keep having nightmares where i get to the induction and they tell me they've actually moved me to the food service department, and it's really busy there and i have to learn everything from scratch right then and there when people are waiting and my coworkers are angry and everyone's getting underpaid and one of them tries to tell me it's fine that the JUG OF SOUR CREAM HAD GONE MOLDY.
...actually, most of that is just a memory of my last workplace. kebab shop. i worked there for maybe three weeks and it made me spiral into a previously unexperienced depth of depression that has only recently lifted.
so you know, i have reason to be really nervous right now. i'm taking a big leap and challenging my fears and making a commitment that i have to keep. and also it's not that deep. it's just a job. it'll stop being so new and cool pretty quick.
at least my work boots are hot.
Sneak Peek at Lops
May 29th, 2022alright, so i'm pretty tired writing this. just watched all of severance and it kind of sucked, might write a post about it tomorrow or something. but WHILE i was watching severance (and some real housewives), i got started on new visual references for my fantasy species: lops!
i'm too excited about it to wait until i have the energy to form a proper gallery and figure out where to put all my lop/worldbuilding stuff. so for now, i'm gonna show you guys what i've got, and add information later!
NOTE: to see full-size images, right-click and open in new tab. :)
left to right: lem (for scale), mirelop, cavelop, springlop, lushlop, cloudlop, sunlop, icelop, aqualop, bosklop, sealop
a tiny-sized lop (mirelop) next to a goliath lop (depth-dwelling sealop)
i'll post more about all these guys SOON...!
Reflections I
May 23rd, 2022had a doctors appointment today. when i woke up i was very floppy from going hard at the gym and buying a bunch of groceries yesterday, plus i only got about 6 hours of sleep... so i laid around for a few hours texting my husband and friends and re-reading authority by jeff vandermeer. it was midday when i had breakfast! googy eggs w a little diced bacon on some toast. i'm not a big fan of toast but there's something about egg yolk that just makes toast a divine experience.
so after that i worked on my site for a bit, finally got it working so that it would look good on mobile but still not entirely happy with how it looks. it'll take time. i got so distracted that i only left myself 10 minutes to get ready, so i rushed to get a cute outfit on (maybe i'll draw it after i write this?) and headed for the bus.
while i was walking across the park, a big fluffy black dog ran up to say hello to me!!! i saw it coming at me with a big puppy grin and took off my headphones. i said, "hi doggy!" and held out my hand as it got closer - it sniffed me for a second, then ran a little lap around me and bounded back to its owner. it put such a big smile on my face!! friendly dogs are the best!
on the bus, i'd planned to listen to a podcast, but ended up listening to fiona apple's album fetch the bolt cutters. weirdly found myself getting sad and angry about crap that my family's going through... but right when i was thinking about doing some really pointlessly vengeful shit, relay came on. "evil is a relay sport where the one who's burnt turns to pass the torch." alright, miss apple. i get you. it's not worth it. i'll behave.
after that, on my second bus (the trip takes a good hour and a half!), i put both toxicity and mesmerize by system of a down on shuffle together. that felt better. my second bus went past the river, along the road that follows it for several kilometres. i looked out at the water and it was uniquely beautiful today. for a long time, i tried to figure out what it reminded me of... and after a while i realised that it was like watching a silver sea, a soft metallic glow, almost lavender in its warmth. i love the swan river so much.
my appointment was pretty uneventful. all i'll say is that the state of trans healthcare in perth is pretty fucking abysmal, but there are a few doctors who'll do their best to work around the system.
after my appointment i caught the bus back to the city, still listening to system of a down. i like this bus route because it goes past the blue house! it's just this weird blue house that's sitting all alone in the river. i don't get to see it often.
my roommates asked me to get groceries, so i took my second bus to our local shopping centre. when i got on, my system of a down shuffle had finally circled back around to its beginning. i remembered i'd only listened to half of kittie's album spit at the gym the other day, so i decided to listen to the rest as i ran my errands. what a fucking ALBUM, man. i absolutely loved it. i'll definitely be writing a review! i think i like the second half best but i'll have to listen a few more times to see.
after i got our stuff, i went to the bus stop, but didn't feel like waiting and was antsy because i haven't gotten much exercise today, so i walked the 2km home. when i'm walking at night, i always sing loudly. i started doing it because it made me feel safe, but these days i just do it because it's really fun and nobody seems to care. mostly today i sang evanescence songs.
after i get this blog post up, i gotta figure out some kinda dinner. i think i'm gonna make some gyoza! just as many as i want for tonight, though. the rest can wait til the weekend. that, or i'll throw together some kinda vege thing. sky's the limit.